The Yankees and Rays are tied with 32 games left to play, and if someone doesn’t pull away, this thing might get too exciting for faint hearts. Pennant races are stressful. You feel like you can’t (or at least shouldn’t) miss a game. You find yourself constantly checking the competitor’s websites, hoping for a key injury timely slump.

Ah, I remember when the Yankees were far ahead. And the “pennant race” was just something we talked about to make the Rays fans feel like they were part of something special. Then this happened. Oi Vei! Look at all those injuries! AROD, Teixeira, Pettitte, Marte, Aceves. The team is so unfit for a competitive September, you’d think they were from Queens (zinger!).

Wait, what’s that? You say I shouldn’t be complaining? You say my team’s going to make the playoffs and I should just count my graces, and be content? Whatevs, buddy. My family’s got a history of sloppy tickers, and I don’t need Brett Gardner’s jittery will-he won’t-he first base steal teases to start aging me (alas, the young speedster would have 50 stolen bases already if he could just commit to running before the eleventeenth pitch of any given at-bat).

But, things are sure to get worse in the next month. Both the Yankees and Rays face a gauntlet of tough series’ on their way to October, and while the Rays are practically a ball-playing informercial for a perfect strength and endurance program, the Yanks are withered and rusty.