Firsthand: A Father's Lament

Print More

I recently met a young lady, Stacy. Me and Stacy started dating. She has two sons, six and two. My son, Jamie, is three. He's in the [child welfare] system. The judge told me that if I had an apartment before my May 22 court date, I could get my son. I wanted to try and get him home, so we decided to get an apartment together.

On March 28, we looked at one in Mount Eden. The super told us it would be $2,550–one month's rent, one month's security and one month's super fee. OK, I never heard of a super fee, but I was like, “We need the apartment.”

So on March 29, I gave him $2,550. Two weeks came and went by, and he hadn't given me a lease. I called someone in the Public Advocate's office and asked if they could help us. Maybe I should have not said anything.

The super finally called me back. “'F' you!” he said to me. “You should have never called the Public Advocate. You will never see your son again, because I will call the city and tell them how abusive you are.”

A couple of days later, I get up to the house, and there's two women in there–ACS [Administration for Children's Services] workers. She says, “We received a phone call that you were abusing Stacy's kid.” They did an investigation and said none of this is founded. I knew then the super was trying to get me for retaliatory reasons.

We also got an eviction notice. Then the [family court] judge told me, “I'm not going to give you your son–you still don't have a lease.” We lost our apartment. I couldn't get my son back. All of these things are hitting us, we're arguing with each other. So Stacy and I eventually broke off the engagement.

I hope my relationship can come around, because Stacy is pregnant with my son, and I want to be there for my new child. I have one that's three and now I have one that's in the oven. I'm not with my other baby mama, but I'd like to be with this one. I want to see when he loses his teeth. I want to see when they grow back. But this system says you can't witness that because you don't have an apartment. You don't have a lease. Well, system, understand it's not my fault I don't have a lease.